Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.