Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.