A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.