America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.