All work and no pay makes a housewife.

A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.

A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.