Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.

We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.