A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.
A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.