Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.

The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.