An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams