A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.

I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.