I know I'm getting older because yesterday I called the police on my neighbors.

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.

I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.

I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.

Whenever another Latino tells me they're more Mexican than me I stop working and let them do the work for me.

If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.