I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.

I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.

I don't know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.

Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.

I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.

My dad was one of those dads that would make me stop crying by threatening to beat me.

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.