Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America.
A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.
My dad was one of those dads that would make me stop crying by threatening to beat me.
I envy people who could just have one drink and not go look for cocaine afterwards.
I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.
I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.