I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don't give you speech therapy; they don't even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there's a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.

Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

My dad was one of those dads that would make me stop crying by threatening to beat me.