I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.
The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there.
Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.
You know you're getting older when your haters now want to kill you.
If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.
I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.