I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.
Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.
A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.
I've got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama.
I know I'm getting older because yesterday I called the police on my neighbors.
I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.