Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.

I envy people who could just have one drink and not go look for cocaine afterwards.

Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.