Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

I know I'm getting older because yesterday I called the police on my neighbors.

Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

My mom cooked the same food every day - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was enchiladas, it was - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was burritos, it was still - tortillas, beans and meat.

Wrestling is only gay when you make eye contact.

I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

We have chemical weapons in America too, they're called meth and cocaine.