My mom cooked the same food every day - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was enchiladas, it was - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was burritos, it was still - tortillas, beans and meat.

I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn't really hit us.

I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America.