Rich people bring a lawyer. Latinos and blacks bring their mom.

I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

You write some material, go up on stage and try it out; go back home and throw it in the trash can. And the next day do it again.

I started drinking when I was like 15, and by the time I was 19 everybody knew I was an alcoholic. So I would start five fights every weekend and lose terribly. First you start off fighting with one person and then he beats you up; and then one guy would be laughing, so you would hit him, too.