That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!