That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.

Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.

It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?