In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.

Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?