Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota.

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia.