I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.