I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!