Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.
They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!