Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!

Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

We don't live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It's always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time consuming process of understanding them. We have given 'taking offense' a social status it doesn't deserve: it's not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.

I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?

Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.