Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.