It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.

Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.