Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

Why would anybody connect to someone who has everything going for them? It's the person who has faults that people want to connect to. So people identify with certain insecurities on stage and just by me talking about my diabetes people come up to me after the show and tell me "Gabe, my blood sugar is out of control and I feel you". That's the first thing they say, they say "I feel you!".

If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

TV and film for me are not as exciting as the live stand-up show and getting the immediate reaction of the crowd. TV is a lot of hurry up and wait for your shot and less immediate reaction from people.

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.