Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like "yeah he's a cute little kid" but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.

You gotta hang out with people who have big dreams and believe in that dream.

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.

When you hear "Seinfield," no one says, "the Jewish comic." You talk about Cedric the Entertainer, you don't say, "African American comedian Cedric the Entertainer." Even Margaret Cho - who's like one of three Korean performers out there - no one refers to her like that. They say, "It's Margaret Cho."