That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans!

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.