She left for Juilliard the day after Labor Day. I drove her to the airport. She kissed me good-bye. She told me that she loved me more than life itself. Then she stepped through security. She never came back.
Gayle FormanNeither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack.
Gayle FormanWhoever said that the past isn't dead had it backward. It's the future that's already dead, already played out.
Gayle FormanThe little things that happen. Sometimes they're insignificant; other times, they change everything.
Gayle FormanThereโs a difference between losing something you knew you had and losing something you discovered you had. One is a disappointment. The other feels like losing a piece of yourself.
Gayle FormanIs that what death would feel like? The nicest, warmest, heaviest never-ending nap? If thatโs what itโs like, I wouldnโt mind.
Gayle FormanBut I'd do it again. I know that now. I'd make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she's somewhere out there. Alive.
Gayle FormanShe's still beautiful. Not in an obvious Vanessa LeGrande or Byrn Shraeder kind of way. In a quiet way that's always been devastating to me.
Gayle FormanI get it now. I have to make good on my promise. To let her go. To really let her go. To let us both go.
Gayle FormanOkay, maybe this was the meant to be: the universe I knew, loved nothing more than balance.
Gayle FormanWe kiss again. This next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I've had in my life has been wrong.
Gayle FormanExcept even at the start, when we were in that can't-get-enough-of-you-phase, there was like some invisible wall between us. At first I tried to take it down, but it took so much effort to even make cracks. And then I got tired of trying. Then I justified it. This was just how adult relationships were, how love felt once you had a few battle scars.
Gayle FormanLetting go. Everyone talks about it like it's the easiest thing. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open.
Gayle FormanBut what if Shakespeareโ and Hamletโ were asking the wrong question? What if the real question is not whether to be, but how to be?
Gayle FormanA day might just be twenty-four hours but sometimes getting through one seems as impossible as scaling Everest.
Gayle FormanIโve since come to understand that the universe operates on the same general equilibrium theory as markets.It never gives you something without making you pay for it somehow.
Gayle FormanNeedle and thread flesh and bone Spit and sinew, heartbreak is home. Your suture lines, they sparkle like diamonds Bright stars to light my confinement "Stitch.
Gayle FormanHate me. Devastate me. Annihilate me. Re-create me. Re-create me. Won't you, won't you won't you re-create me.
Gayle FormanSomeone wake me when it's over When the evening silence softens golden Just lay me on bed of dover Oh, I need help with this burden "Hush
Gayle FormanA long flight. Jetlag. Immigration. Customs. And then finally, that first step into a new place, that moment of exhilaration and disorientation, each feeding the other. That moment when anything can happen
Gayle FormanIt was selfish what I asked her to do, even if it wound up being the most unselfish thing I've ever done.
Gayle FormanI might have been eleven years old and a little socially immature, but I recognized a gauntlet being thrown down when I saw it, and I had no choice but to take it up.
Gayle FormanIt's not that people like sad movies that make us feel like, "Oh, my god, what a bummer." We like emotionally moving experiences, where you feel like a slightly different person and you see the world a little different, after you finish. It lets you see your own life, in a different way, and it actually makes you feel really good. And even though there might be sad content making this happen, the feeling that you're left with is one that is quite good, quite hopeful, clarifying and uplifting.
Gayle FormanAnd the voice grows stronger and stronger, and itโs my voice this time and itโs asking a question: How does she know?
Gayle FormanThen I smell the sweat on him, a clean musky scent that I'd bottle and wear as perfume if I could.
Gayle FormanSo are you moving on now? Is that what brought you to the grand metropolis of Valladolid?โ โNo. The wind just blew me here.โ โWhat? Like a plastic bag?โ โI prefer to think of myself as a ship. Like a sailboat.
Gayle FormanThere were signs. Probably more of them than I ever caught, even after the fact. But I missed them all. Maybe because I wasnโt looking for them. I was too busy checking over my shoulder at the fire Iโd just come through to pay much attention to the thousand-foot cliff looming in front of me.
Gayle Forman