My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. "You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits." And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George CarlinIf you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church.
George CarlinI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George CarlinI did LSD and peyote in the late Sixties, before I got into cocaine. That was concurrent with my change from a straight comic to the album and counterculture period, and those drugs served their purpose. They helped open me up.
George Carlin