Voting is a meaningless exercise. I'm not going to waste my time with it. These parties, these politicians are given to us as a way of making us feel we have freedom of choice. But we don't. Everything is done to you in this country.

Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.

To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.

Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?