Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations; he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George CarlinHow come when itโs us, itโs an abortion, and when itโs a chicken, itโs an omelette?
George CarlinMy father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
George CarlinI don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty, they will need things like the drugs they choose to use. Mankind has wanted to change the way it felt from the beginning anyway. In this country there are even more reasons to want to feel different, to want to feel better, because this is such a neon sewer. This is such a degrading culture. It forces you to play Beethoven to your child in the uterus so that he will get into a better school and a better job and make more money so he can take care of you.
George Carlin