Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids

And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope.