Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

Meow” means “woof” in cat.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

What wine goes with Captain Crunch?