Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.

They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.

I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.

I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal.