I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.

Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?