If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?

I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

I loved the angiogram. They stick a thing in your thigh and it goes all the way up to your heart. Isn't that a thrill? Well, at least the nurse scored thigh.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all outer-directed.

All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.