Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

My father and mother separated when I was two months old.

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.

Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.