I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.

You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.

It was just a compulsion. In fact, I soon realized that the only thing I really enjoyed was the actual snorting.

Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?

What wine goes with Captain Crunch?