That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.