If you had chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?
George CarlinI believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George CarlinAs it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.
George CarlinI just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin