I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.

They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!

Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?