The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.

You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats. Keep an eye on that, it might be important.

The Muslims observe their Sabbath on Friday, the Jews observe on Saturday, and the Christians on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around God is completely f***in' worn out.

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

More people write poetry than read it.

Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.