Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a... secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control language because that's the way you control thought, and basically that's the game they're in.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.

You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats. Keep an eye on that, it might be important.

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.

It used to be cars had cool names: Dart, Hawk, Fury, Cougar, Firebird, Hornet, Mustang, Barracuda. Now we have Elantra, Altima, Acura, Lumina, Sentra, Corolla, Maxima, Tercel. Further proof that America has lost its edge.