Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change.

People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.