The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

Does killing time damage eternity?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly reappeared on our bodies at the same time.

You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.