The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.

People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don't care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I'm interested in showing off. I'm the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said "watch this."

There are only two places in the world: over here and over there.