Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Tonight's forecast: DARK. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to wildly scattered light in the morning

Meow” means “woof” in cat.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.