Sudden total weight loss.

If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. "You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits." And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?