No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.

Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.

People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before the next "horrifying" event. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound "heals" it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, "Let the scarring begin.