I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.

There are only two types of motorists: the idiots who drive slower than me, and the lunatics who go faster.

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.

In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?