When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.

The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Suddenly, I was thirty, very unhappy entertaining people in their forties, and here came a group of people in their teens and twenties who had similar anti-authority problems and similar dreams and wishes, hopes for mankind. So I gravitated toward them.

Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere